


no price too high for love

by invallid



Series: the couple we deserve (kingsman/bodyguard crossover) [1]
Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018), Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Crossover, Fluff, M/M, building ikea furniture, david's family is mentioned, eggsy and david are kind of stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 05:15:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18423612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invallid/pseuds/invallid
Summary: david just moved in with eggsy. they decide to buy an ikea bed and assemble it themselves. it doesn't go too well.





	no price too high for love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bernietaupin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bernietaupin/gifts), [faerie_ground](https://archiveofourown.org/users/faerie_ground/gifts).



> i love you two eggvid warriors!

"David this was a bad idea."

"Eggsy, you're just being dramatic."

David had just moved in with Eggsy earlier in the week. They thought it would be a good idea to go get a new bed for their bedroom at Ikea. There wasn't anything wrong with the old one, Eggsy just wanted a new one. One long and argument filled Ikea trip later, their living room was covered in bed frame pieces.

"I've saved the world twice and that was far easier than assembling this shit bed." Eggsy complained, kicking a piece of the bed out of the way. David, who was sitting on the floor among the pile of pieces, looked up at his boyfriend. "We probably should've just kept the old bed."

"Yeah but I like this bed." David said as he gestured vaguely to what would eventually become the bed, but was just a pile of wood and metal right now. "It's nice. Nicer than the old one."

"I know but we can't put it together. We've been at it for an hour."

"We can get it." David reassured. "I promise."

"Do you understand the instructions at all?"

"Well." David hesitated and looked down and the instructions again with a puzzled expression. "No, I don't."

"Exactly." Eggsy slumped down on the ground next to David, making sure to move any object in his way before he sat down. "Should we call someone?"

"Who would we even call?" David asked, his face scrunched up in confusion. "The Ikea police?"

"Dunno." Eggsy shrugged. "Someone who's better at this than us."

"It's just a damn Ikea bed." David picked up the instructions again and flipped through them. Eggsy leaned over and rested his head on David's shoulder so he could read it too. "It really can't be that hard."

"Yeah well neither of us are the sharpest knifes in the drawer."

"I suppose not." David agreed. "But I think we can figure it out. If we just follow the pictures it can't be hard."

"We haven't figured it out yet." Eggsy picked up one of the wrenches and spun it around on his finger. David, without looking up from the instructions, grabbed it off of his hand and put it back in the pile of tools. As they sat there in silence, JB walked into the living room to inspect what was going on.

"Looks like you've got a little helper." David said, petting JB as he walked past him. "Maybe we can get Oatmeal and Lavender in here to help as well."

"Whose idea was it to name her Oatmeal, by the way?" Eggsy asked David as he picked JB up off the ground and held him like a baby. "I never asked you but it's always bothered me."

"Charlie and Ella's." David laughed as he recalled the story. "The day I got her it was my weekend with the kids. I brought her back to the house and told Charlie and Ella they could name her. They were eating breakfast so Charlie looked down at his bowl and yelled 'Oatmeal'. I couldn't say no to it."

"That's adorable." Eggsy smiled at the story. "How do you think they'll feel about you moving in with me?"

"Oh they'll love it." David said matter-of-factly. "They love you and they love JB. Plus, this place is much bigger and better than my shitty old flat."

"Have you told Vicky yet?"

"Yeah." David nodded. "She said I could have Charlie and Ella next week so they can come see the house and help get settled in."

"That's good." JB started squirming around in Eggsy's arms, so he set him down. They both watched as he ran out of the living room and back up the stairs. "Maybe we can get the kids new Ikea beds as well."

"Ha ha very funny." David fake laughed as he glared at his boyfriend. Eggsy devilishly grinned at him in response. "We can't even build our own damn bed, how are we gonna build bunk beds?"

"I was joking, love." Eggsy reached over and held David's free hand that wasn't holding the instructions. "Speaking of which, we should get back to the bed."

"Yeah." David threw the instructions on the floor in defeat. "After all this, I just hope the bed is sturdy. Don't need it breaking while we're in the middle of-" David was cut off by Eggsy's laughing. "I didn't even finish my sentence yet. You don't know what I was going to say."

"Doesn't take a genius to figure it out." Eggsy said between laughs. "Can you imagine it though? If it just fell apart while we we're shagging." David cracked a smile at that. Eggsy loved seeing David happy. When they first started dating it used to only happen rarely but recently he'd been smiling a lot more. It made Eggsy glad to know that David was slowly but surely improving mentally. He'd been through a lot in the past few years.

"It would be pretty funny, but considering it's a loft bed." David paused to point at the ladder sitting a few feet away from him. "We might break a bone or two."

"Yeah but it'd certainly be an interesting story." Eggsy commented.

"It would but that's not the point." David said, putting his hand on Eggsy's thigh. "We really need to build this bed. I don't want to have to sleep on the couch because we're too stupid to figure out how to build a bed."

"Alright, alright." Eggsy stood up, his knees cracking loudly on the way. David laughed.

"You're getting old." He remarked, which prompted a playful smack on the arm from Eggsy. "Now come on babe, pass me the screwdriver."

* * *

Eggsy and David stood in their bedroom, admiring their newly assembled bed. Once they finally understood the directions, the building went fast. Though, they did stop in the middle of it for a quick makeout session (Eggsy just couldn't help himself, David looked too hot as he was putting the desk together).

"It looks like the picture." Eggsy observed. David nodded in agreement. "Should be right."

"Do you think it's sturdy?" David asked, shaking the frame a little bit. "I don't want to get on it and have the entire thing break."

"Dunno." Eggsy replied. "Should I test it?"

"Probably. Just don't hurt yourself." David warned as Eggsy approached the ladder. The second his hand landed on it, it came loose from the rest of the frame and fell to the ground with a loud thud. David bursted into hysterical laughter.

"I'm glad it happened right now instead of in a week." Eggsy said, staring at the fallen ladder in disbelief. David laughed harder, grabbing Eggsy's shoulder for support. "How did we fuck up this bad?"

"Maybe it wasn't screwed tight enough." David said between laughs. "I think the rest of it is safe."

"You sure?" Eggsy asked, a hint of skepticism in his voice. He hauled the ladder up off the floor and started screwing it back on again, tighter this time.

"I tightened everything as tight as it could go."

"Except the ladder." Eggsy pointed out. David just rolled his eyes in response. Eggsy tightened the last screw as hard as he could and stepped back. "All fixed."

"That's good." David said. The door to their bedroom slowly opened. Lavender, their calico cat, came strolling into the room. "Do you think she'll try to get up the ladder and lay on the bed with us?"

"Don't think she knows how." Eggsy responded. They both watched as she stood in front of the ladder, stuck her paw on the first step, and started climbing up the steps like a human. "Holy shit."

"She proved you wrong." David stated with a very confused look on his face. It was Eggsy's turn to hysterically laugh now.

"Did you fucking see that?" Eggsy continued to laugh. "She climbed it like a fucking person."

"She's a smart cat." David said, reaching up to scratch the top of her head. Lavender purred in response. "Well I mean if she can climb up the ladder without it breaking, it's probably safe for us." He turned around to look at Eggsy. "You wanna break it in?"

"Break it in?" Eggsy smirked as David grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him closer. Their lips were only a few inches apart and their bodies were pressed flush against each other. "Good idea." They shared a quick kiss before they both climbed up the ladder and got in bed, making sure Lavender was out of the room before they got to it.

**Author's Note:**

> my first fic on this account! this is so exciting. i hope you all liked it because i had fun writing it and finally joining the eggvid train. more to come in the future so be on the lookout!


End file.
